Leanne's Story

When I was 19 I was in an emotionally abusive relationship.

I didn’t know it at the time because abuse usually meant violence and aggression with their fists, not their words.

I went into a state of depression during the relationship and it continued after the relationship ended.

The highest antidepressant dose would still not numb the pain and I was left in a state of complete despair and hopelessness.

The continued pain and suffering I experienced was extremely hard for me but also for my family and friends.

They did everything, humanly possible to support me, however,

how can you truly help someone when you

haven't shared the same traumas?

I remember feeling like life would and could not get better.

That my life would remain mundane, empty and I would remain,

simply surviving.

I remember waking up one day, hungover; for alcohol numbed the pain better than the antidepressants did.

I questioned what my life had become.

'A happy, free spirit turned into a shell of her former self'

a friend had suggested when I asked this aloud.

'A shell of her former self'.

Wow.

How on earth was I going to move forward from this?

But asking that question, that day, was the turning point.

How do I move forward.

How do I change things?

What can I do to get back to my free spirited self.

My story was mine and I wanted to protect it,

to ensure it was told my way,

untarnished and untouched - by him.

When I started to talk about what had happened to me,

my mindset began to change rapidly.

“Wow” I would think.

“I am so strong to have gone through that”.

The shame and guilt began to shift and the power I felt I had over my own life seemed to strengthen.

I began to be that free spirited

person that had long been lost

I began to recognise how much my abuser had lied

throughout our relationship.

The conceit and the fabrications made me think

"what else could he have said that was untrue?

Maybe, other things he told me, were also not true."

How could I not be worthy if I had a family that loved me.

How could I be unwanted but still have friends

who chose to be in my life.

Why was it that no one would love me again?

How could he possibly know that to be true?

I delved deep to search for those answers.

I researched, I spoke about it, I challenged it.

My disbelief in him turned into self belief in Me.

Things felt different. I felt different.

So I decided to embark on a journey of further soul searching.

I read books, I travelled, I spoke to people from different walks of life, I connected, I researched, I learnt. I studied everything I could to find answers to the key to recovery.

And on my journey I not only found answers and solutions but I found something else that I wasn't expecting.

I found myself.

I am now 31 years old and I can wholeheartedly say that my trauma became my power story. I gained so much on my journey of self discovery. I remembered that I am strong, I am emotionally intune.

I am determined. I am me.

My energy began to change.

The Universe started to show me incredible

things that would happen when I changed

my mindset, when I challenged those

self limiting beliefs that I had inherited

from my past relationship.

My journey wasn't easy but it was powerful.

I invested time, energy and money into

deep self healing and, subsequently,

developed my education so I could begin to coach others.